Woman nearly dies after 8-hour wedgie from high-waisted shorts

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Who wears short shorts? Probably not her again.

A North Carolina woman shared that she “could’ve easily died” after she contracted a bacterial infection from wearing high-waisted denim shorts for eight hours. A video recounting her nearly fatal fashion disaster boasts more than 8 million views on TikTok.

“Moral of the story: tight shorts are OUT!” wrote Sam — who goes by “imtoooldtobeonthis” on TikTok — under the clip chronicling the accidental atomic wedgie, which occurred three years ago while she was on a date.

Speaking about the incident to Buzzfeed, the bedraggled gal recalled that she was “wearing very uncomfortable clothes,” which prompted her to pick at the high-riding heinie-huggers (a pic of which she shared in a follow-up vid) several times during the eight-hour outing. Eventually, the gal opted “to ignore it and just enjoy my time.”

But the next day the gal started feeling very ill and noticed that she had a large bump where the chafing had occurred.

“As time went on, it started becoming more painful,” the bewildered woman told Buzzfeed. “The pain was isolated to one spot and it felt like a throbbing, stabbing pain.”

The next day, Sam visited a doctor, who gave her “antibiotics for a possible ‘skin infection’ in my a – – crack,” she noted in the TikTok video.

But, by that point, it was already too late: The next morning, Sam fell into what she later discovered was septic shock after contracting a skin infection called cellulitis, Buzzfeed reported. The woman’s mother rushed her “shivering, very breathless” daughter to the hospital where, according to Sam, medical professionals considered “cutting off” the infected part of her derriere.

Sam's mother reportedly got her to the hospital.
Sam’s mother reportedly got her to the hospital.
@imtoooldtobeonthisdown/TikTok

Thankfully, Sam was able to recover in the ICU and avoid the rump-ruining surgery, per the TikTok clip. After three days’ additional recuperation, the grateful gal was discharged from the hospital without any lasting effects aside from the embarrassment of “constantly having to show my a – – to doctors every day.”

Unfortunately, the cellulitis returned a month later, so she returned to the ER for another round of antibiotics.

Her viral video has locked up more than 8 million views.
Her viral video has locked up more than 8 million views.
@imtoooldtobeonthisdown/TikTok

In the wake of her mishap, TikTokkers’ emotions were rubbed raw by Sam’s life-threatening wedgie.

“New fear unlocked,” one aghast gawker responded to her video. “The price we pay trying to look good for men,” lamented another. “Glad you’re okay girlie.”

“Cellulitis is literally no joke at all,” said another.

Some armchair medical professionals even tried to diagnose Sam’s condition.

“I don’t know what Sam’s actual medical diagnosis from her doctors was, but judging from her story, she likely had an anorectal abscess caused by an anal fissure or an anal fistula, both of which are pretty common,” Dr. Carmen Fong, a New York City colorectal surgeon, told Buzzfeed. “Anorectal abscesses occur in about 100,000 people each year, but most of us believe this reported number is lower than the actual number, because people often don’t talk about their butt abscesses, or mistake anorectal abscesses for hemorrhoids.”

Three-years later, she documented her potentially life-threatening mishap on TikTok.
Three years later, she documented her potentially life-threatening mishap on TikTok.
@imtoooldtobeonthisdown/TikTok

She speculated that Sam’s caboose crater had formed when bacteria infiltrated a cut caused by her eight-hour wedgie. In turn, her tight shorts had provided a moist, dark environment where the microbes could thrive.

“When not treated promptly, it [anorectal abscesses] can become a very bad infection and make a person very sick, although sepsis and cellulitis tend to happen more in immunocompromised people, such as those with diabetes,” said Fong.

And contrary to what everyone’s mom might tell you, picking at a wedgie can help stave off infection.

“Obviously we do a lot of things for fashion, but if something is making you uncomfortable, it’s your body telling you that something isn’t right,” Fong added. “I give full permission to pick that wedgie in the middle of even the most amazing date — it’s for your own butt health.”

This isn’t the first time a seemingly innocuous decision has proved potentially fatal. This past June, a California man redefined “razor rash” after a shaver mixup resulted in his face getting ravaged by flesh-eating bacteria.

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